Fifth anniversary for Free


Free album cover

Did you realize it has been 5 years already since the album ‘Free’ was released? I surely didn’t.

It somehow keeps amazing me that Gavin has been doing his thing, what, 10 years. And I have been part of this journey like 2 of that. What kind of a fan am I? Sometimes I feel a bit sad for I haven’t been able to enjoy the ride from the beginning, but I’m gonna compensate my loss with constant overdose.

Anyways, the album ‘Free’ is my favourite. (I have to admit, that I might use that word later on when talking about the other albums, but at the moment it is.) I tweeted:



I hesitated a bit when writing that one, because at first I was going to use word ‘thoughts’. But I realized that isn’t the truth. It’s not what I think, it’s what I feel when I listen to it. Sometimes the life just gets me, and it feels like I’m all alone, or I don’t have anything to hold on to and I’m just too busy being able to even cry. I mean, the space for my feelings, I don’t have it. I just rush and rush and wake up and rush to work and then I need to get tons of things to be done, and then I rush back home and take care of my kids (I have 2), and then I collapse to bed for I would be ready to wake up again. It’s… frustrating, overwhelming, exhausting.

But when I just pick the album ‘Free’, everything slows down. I get my moment. I can lift up my spirit. I can cry, I can feel. I can fall in love again. I love the wholeness of the album, the story it’s telling me. WIth it’s melodies, emotions. When the last notes of ‘Why do the men stray’ fade away I feel refreshed, renewed in a way. Relieved. I feel like I made it through.

I wrote to my friend once that I was feeling terribly sad and blue over something, and tried to cheer myself up with G (that usually works!), but that time it didn’t work. I wrote that it must have been one of a blue I was going through, or then I picked the wrong album. It was ‘Free’. But you know, sometimes I just don’t want to be cheered up. I just need some space for my feelings, and I feel this one gives it to me.


My all time favorite song is from this album. It’s ‘Free’. It’s, umm, you might have connected this already with the name of this blog. I mean, the first time I heard this song, or, when I first really listened to it, I was amazed. It felt like my head was tingling with sudden freedom. I thought that ‘my gosh, this is what I have been trying to tell myself my whole freaking life, and here it is, said nice and clean and out loud by the man I adore’.

If allowed I’ll just clarify that statement a bit. I have been struggling with myself, for I just cannot settle down with mediocry. I’m always the both ends of the line. Yes, I’m the feather and I’m the stone. At the same time. It’s so annoying and so frustrating that sometimes I just… I just… *sigh*

And when listening this song, I felt sudden relief, like a sudden insight, that what if.

What if I don’t have to try to stay in the middle? What if I can be the both ends of the line at the same time? What if it’s just okay? What if I don’t have to be anything else than me?

Being free is something I deeply strive for. My god, if I just could fly.  And you know, there was a time when I did, actually. It happened a month ago in London (the city I’m insanely in love with), on 27th of February, in 02 Shepherd’s Bush Empire. Yes. My first ever concert of Gavin DeGraw.

I flied. I loved it. It was tremendous. I was like floating afterwards. Stunned, overwhelmed. Happy, amazed, and yes

– free.



So, G, I just want to thank you. I may never see you again, but it doesn’t matter. You may never see/hear any word of mine, but it doesn’t matter. You have already given me so much, I’m in constant awe. You teach me about things of myself I never knew before. And for that – I love you, man!



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