Heartbreakingly beautiful


If you follow me in Twitter you might heard about this phase of mine already. It’s called ‘standing-in-awe-because-gavin-degraw-has-such-amazing-voice-that-leaves-me-breatheless-and-keeps-me-amazed-with-its-subtle-profoundness-and-now-I’m-running-out-of-adjectives-needed’-phase.

Ha. But it’s true. This time I’m enjoying more than I ever would have thought possible when listening through the Chariot Stripped -album. I have done that before like “a couple” of times, but yesterday it somehow hit me like a hammer strike. It caught me unprepared, kept me captivated, peeled me so that I was only the core of myself. No wants, needs, thoughts, memories, fears, plans for the future, nothing. Just this huge, heartbreakingly beautiful emotion.

I wrote earlier that I love the album ‘Free’ for it gives space for my feelings. This one, Chariot Stripped… it’s different. It swipes me away. It gives me so much, it multiplies everything. I’m actually running out of words.

I have huge respect of Gavin’s sincerity. At least I get the feeling that he is in his music so wholly, that he is so true and genuine, all I can do when listening is to go along, stand in awe, and love, love, love. My god, is it even possible to enjoy music this much?

Today I was listening it through like second time on a day and suddenly I realized that I was all over covered with goose bumps. I mean, not just my arms, where I usually have them if I like a song, but all over me. On my back, legs, my freaking toes! Sheesh. His voice. That’s all.

I love Gavin for he is always new. You know? He is not content with doing things as he has done before. I have to admit that I felt awkward and uneasy before when the artists didn’t follow the song to the letter as it has been recorded on the album when they were doing it live. But now, I have been degrawed, ha. I *love* that he does it differently every single time. He gives his feelings, his thoughts, his experiences through the way he sings a song. As he said himself: “You sing how you feel and you sing how the song makes you feel.”

He can make a song to be so very deep and exquisite and delicate and full of sweet emotions – and the next time he’s just gonna rock the place with the very same song and his arrogant attitude of a rockstar.

I don’t know if it’s just me being suddenly able to pick the delicate vibes, but my god I love… I wrote into my diary that “love” is way too lame word for describing what I’m feeling. And it’s true. I mean, I have used that word so much it just isn’t that special anymore. And this, this is special.

I wish I could explain. That’s impossible, though. No words could ever say it all.

Here’s my favorites in delicacy at this moment. Not all of them are from the Stripped, but they have this same kind of vibe of sincerity and wholeness in them. No videos of them, but no need, anyways.

Just close your eyes and let Gavin lift you away.



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