If there’s something bugging me right now it is these quotation marks. I have been so pissed and so willing to let go of all this crap after I read this comment. That they don’t have time listening for a billionth time through how the band has “changed” a fan’s life. Yeah. Exactly. “Changed”.
I know this is not exactly linked to Gavin, but in a way I’ve used to think that he has changed my life. And now there’s this somebody telling me and everybody else that they (celebs) don’t have time for it, nor it is anything meaningful to them anyways. I’d like to think that Gavin is not like that, but hey, how could I know?
It just hit me. Hard.
I mean, does this comment mean I don’t have the right to say it? Or that it is only my imagination, it’s not true? Or it has no meaning, that’s for sure, anyways, for anybody else than me. Should I stop telling that, then? Why am I blogging anyways? What am I trying to achieve with this? Prove that the music has “changed” my life? What’s the point? At this moment I’m so done.
But there’s no way telling me that the music has not changed my life. It has. And okay, I know now that I won’t ever be able to say it without making a total fool of myself, because all of the others who have said it before me, so I won’t say it when I do m&g with G. I promise you, I won’t. He has heard it like gazillion times, what does he care. Ha. So, I’ll keep my big mouth shut, damned.
That was the one thing I was planning to say. I have to admit that. I was so arrogant to think it would have some meaning in it. That maybe he would be happy to hear how his music has been affecting my life, and making me more whole as a person, more as I am, more like the true me. It has done that to me, that is the fact that doesn’t change even though how pathetic it would sound when said out loud. So, I won’t say it. Period.
It’s just funny how some little things can really get under my skin. This time it wasn’t even a hint of Gavin, but just these freaking quotation marks.