That something

There’s just something in Gavin. I have tried my best to describe it, but I can’t let this subject be, because I feel amazed almost every day because of him. My previous thoughts about his magic can be found HERE if you wish to see. That post is written on more general level, but this time I’m trying to figure out why he works like magic for me personally.

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I love him for every reason I mentioned in that previous post, but somehow it feels it’s not enough. It’s not saying it all. There must be a lot of people out there who are good looking, talented, funny, respectful and so on. And still there’s only one Gavin DeGraw.

I think I may have written this before, but it’s still true. With every interview I have seen he does it. The trick. Or, he has them several.

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The trick no. 1

He makes me suddenly stop, think again what I just heard, and go ‘wow, I’ve never thought that, but now that you said it, it makes so much sense’, and then I keep thinking of the thing like days. It doesn’t have to be any great or universal thought, it could be something as simple and short as “I need to go through life” (when I was struggling with my own seemingly meaningless one and couldn’t understand why someone would want to do ordinary things for purpose).

The first trick is to make me think things anew. Take a different perspective of things.

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The trick no. 2

He makes me cry. He says something that touches me from very deep inside of me. And again, it doesn’t have to be anything great. He gives his opinion on something (for example yesterday I was crying when he talked about the fame and the passion of making real music), and it somehow is so in tune with my thoughts that all I can do is agree completely. And the, you know, emotional fulfillment at that moment is the reason I cry, I guess.

He keeps telling some simple truths about life. And because they’re so pure and true, they go deep in me, and I have to surrender. And all I can do is just let go, and cry.

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The trick no. 3

He articulates my exact feelings and thoughts in a way I wouldn’t ever be able to, nor did I even know it could be said so delicately and in such beauty. Leaves me breatheless, kind of. He says things and suddenly I just stop breathing and I just know  what he will say next, because I feel the same freaking thing – and he does.

At this point I will be staring the screen with an amazed disbelieving wide smile on my face.

And the thing is, I always feel this amazement, although it should be quite obvious for me not to anymore, for it happens so often, but I do. I keep thinking ‘oh wow, Gavin, oh wow’.

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The trick no. 4

Sometimes when I don’t know what I’m feeling or thinking about some things in life, or sometimes when I don’t even know I have some kind of an opinion on some things, he defines myself to me. This is not happening so often, but it has, several times, though. And it doesn’t have to be an interview, this has actually happened more often with his songs.

He makes me visible. Makes my feelings visible to myself. More understandable. More acceptable. More real, I might say.

It feels like a miracle when the clouds suddenly fade away and I can see clearly the thing that was there all the time, even if I didn’t see it before.

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As you can see, he has this special effect on me and even if I try to define the reason for it, it keeps slipping away. It feels I can’t grab it. That everything I say is true, but not quite all. As the root of it all cannot be found.

And maybe it shouldn’t. That’s the thing about love that makes it so precious. You can’t describe it, define it.

All you can do is feel it.

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