The art of not answering



It wasn’t that long ago when I started wondering the reason for that I don’t know anything really about Gavin DeGraw. Well, I know his name, his looks, his voice, his tour dates… and lots about his thoughts of the things he discusses in the interviews. But when I started to going though all of that info it still let me somehow dissatisfied, because the further I went with my knowledge about G the more obvious it became that I don’t know anything really about the man behind the name.

Who is Gavin DeGraw when he isn’t the famous Gavin DeGraw?

 Oh, I can hear what you’re thinking: she was just curious about his private life. And you know what, you got that one right. In a way. It would be interesting to see how he spends his time off. Who does he spend it with. You know, he could have dozens of kids running around for all I know. Because I don’t know anything.

In the same time, when feeling this dissatisfaction, I realized that I have this huge respect for him, his delicate way of just not telling anything he doesn’t want to. I felt like this is how it should be done. His private life is his private life, if you know what I mean. Even how annoyed I would be as a fan, as a person I so completely adore his way of keeping himself as a secret.


Actually, I started to think over this thing only after seeing this interview:

Did you see it? Did you see how he does it? I almost did not catch it. You know, if I wasn’t that damn curious to know the answer to the question asked, I would have missed it.

The question was about do the songs about being heartbroken in the album ‘Free’ tell about Gavin, personally. I watched Gavin take his time to answer, as he does (and oh how I love his unhurried way of answering!), and I tried to read the answer to the question from his face, from his eyes, from his facial expressions, and I found myself thinking ‘it just might be’. And what he then answers…

Ohh. Bummer.

After I had recovered from the disappointment of not knowing anything more about G, I started to laugh. I mean, he doesn’t just say ‘well, you know what, I’d rather not answer that one’, even though that would be fair enough as well.

Actually he manages to do 3 things at the same time: 1) keeping the interview on the level he wants it to be 2) kinda answering the question when not answering it at all 3) entertaining us by telling a funny story.

It was a professional way of not-answering. Polite, funny, and very un-awkward as these kinds of situations could easily become. Gavin seems to be very relaxed and friendly in every interview I have seen, and this easiness of being himself tells me that he is not doing this for the first time. Actually, now that I think about it, it tells about confidence. The simple fact that the music is enough. He doesn’t have to try to reach the fame with any revelations of his private life. And although it annoyed me back then, I soon started to have a respect for this ability, or skill.

His music is enough.

After this video I looked at his videos from a different perspective for some time. How is he deluding me this time? How much he does this and I don’t see it? I found myself thinking that I should be extra careful if ever chatting with him in real for it seemed to me that he can lead the conversation in such delicate sovereignty that I couldn’t just handle it at all. Ha.

He still remains as a mystery for me. The thing how he can be so damn open and sincere and at the same time not telling a thing about himself. Man, I think I’m just envious.


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